Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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