And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
