I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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