I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
