He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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