apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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