so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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