first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ketchup is God's man juice
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
These tits shall not be calmed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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