For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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