At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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