You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
