Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
