I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
