There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize