guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
