i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize