I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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