she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
