high people should be assigned attendants
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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