I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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