You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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