addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Text me some of your sweat
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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