you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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