i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I need moral support for this bender
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
