the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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