I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
