She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ttyl tear gas
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
