I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
