lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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