She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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