I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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