My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was CRYING into my vagina
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
