If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
