Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
