is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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