you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
