and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
