He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
