Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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