i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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