Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize