I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize