I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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