why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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