East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
kristin has been a bad kristin
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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