where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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