her vagine was all disorganized.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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