Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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