As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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