You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
