first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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