He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
