I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
