I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
