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• (510): View more from California

  So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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• (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.

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• (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

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• (209): View more from California

  The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers

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