He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
