Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
