well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
