So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
