he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
