so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
