If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Terrible idea I love it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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