I'm going to jail i love you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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