think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize