So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
